How the family mediation is going?
Family mediation is a flexible process, therefore, there is no strictly prescribed and mandatory regulation. However, like other types of negotiations, Family Mediation has logical stages that allow an effective solution to a conflict.
The purpose of mediation is to help the parties find mutually acceptable solutions and resolve the dispute.
It is important to pay attention to the fact that family mediation is a difficult and emotionally filled process, both for the parties and for the mediator. Therefore, according to the general rule, the mediators with family conflicts work in pairs of co-mediators. This gives the parties the opportunity to be heard, and the process is most effective.
1. The preliminary stage.
At this stage, co-mediators are getting acquainted with the parties, giving the parties the opportunity to understand that such family mediation, the basic rules and principles of the process, its advantages over other ways of resolving the conflict, help solve the parties, whether they are ready for the mediation and what this the process may be useful in this particular case.
How does this happen?
Receiving an order from one of the parties for the mediation, the mediators contact the second / other parties to the conflict, the client and offer a preliminary individual meeting to get acquainted with the mediation and mediators.
This meeting is always held individually.
The most important thing is to create a safe space that will allow a person to listen to himself and decide if he needs mediation. This decision must be absolutely voluntary, with the full realization that a peaceful resolution of the conflict is the most valuable opportunity to resume communication and solve the accumulated issues.
Within this stage, co-mediators also collect preliminary information about the current conflict and its participants to understand the media relevance of this particular case.
With the aid of the mediator, topics are defined that are important for discussion, it is carefully explained that the above can be reproduced in the presence of the other party / parties, taking into account the principle of confidentiality, it turns out the possibility of a joint meeting.
The purpose of this stage is to give the person the opportunity to speak, to be heard, to recall the whole history as a whole, considering that in advance, people who are in conflict, are so focused on images that they can not reproduce at all, from which everything began and how they found themselves in this point; as well as understand what mediation is and how it can be useful for solving their conflict.
In conclusion, if consent of all parties to the conflict to join in family mediation, parties shall be given an opportunity to familiarize with the Treaty on mediation, which defines the rights and obligations of parties, in particular - privacy process, and more.
2. Initial stage.
Includes signing of a contract, introductory word of co-mediators, data collection, clarification of positions of parties, definition of topics for discussion.
How does this happen?
Usually such meetings are of a common nature.
After the signing of the Treaty and the introductory word of the co-mediators, in which they recall the basic rules and principles of mediation, the possible format of meetings and other organizational issues (duration of sessions, their regularity, etc.), the parties are given the opportunity to fully and comprehensively highlight their vision of the conflict. .
In general, the format of media meetings can be both joint and individual.
At the same time, in the family mediation the most productive and effective form is the joint meetings.
Why? Because the feature of family mediation is the resolution of the conflict between family members and the peculiarity of this is due to the fact that family members, in advance, will be forced to communicate in the future. These are not business partners who can never meet after a conflict resolution. Family relationships connect us forever.
A husband and wife, after divorce, remain the parents of their children, and this obliges them to jointly solve many issues concerning the upbringing of children, and constantly communicate. Parents and teenager who can not find a common language will surely survive this difficult period for both of the child's birth (become a child) and it is important to keep respect for each other for the opportunity to remain in the family.
One of the heirs can get a family relic by court decision, but forever lose the opportunity to sit down at a festive table with his family, to be supported by his great family when he suddenly finds himself in a difficult position. Consequently, the format of joint meetings is the most important circumstance for the effective resolution of the dispute.
How does this happen?
The parties meet in one room with co-mediators. Each side provides an equal amount of time in order to tell their views on the conflict. This is necessary in order for the other party to see the view and hear the feelings of another regarding the conflict.
Then the themes are defined and their prioritization, that is, what is most relevant for the decision, from which it is necessary to begin the negotiation process.
3. Identify the interests of each participant in the conflict and find out the needs that are hidden behind identified interests.
In the course of the mediation, the identification of interests is the most important resource for resolving the conflict and reaching agreement between the parties. The high level of implementation of the decisions reached in the process of mediation is provided by the search of common and mutual interests of the parties, and making decisions that optimally satisfy the interests of each participant.
4. Finding opportunities and ideas for a solution.
This stage is quite creative. It encourages the parties to independently find solutions, taking into account the needs of all participants. Thanks to the work done by the co-mediators at the previous stages, the parties are already looking at the situation differently, hearing each other, carefully choosing expressions during communication, enabling them to move forward effectively and dynamically, looking for new options for solving all those who need it.
The worked out variants of decisions, with the help of co-mediators are checked for realism and possibility of execution. The details are supplemented and processed and a final decision is made that satisfies all the participants.
At the request of the parties - arrangements are laid out in the form of a written or oral agreement.
Experts (experts) may be involved at stages 4 and 5, to formulate final formulations. This is particularly useful when such an agreement is filed in court as a peace deal.